I am still not exactly sure how it happened, but somehow I ended up marrying the woman of my dreams. Five years ago today. The best five years of life I could ever imagine. It feels like yesterday in so many ways. For such a long time I had believed it was a lost cause, but God knew better. I asked her, and she said yes. It’s been five whole years, and I still have those moments when I have a passing feeling that I am still asleep and imagining all of it… moments where I feel what it was like before she was in my life. I really for the life of me do not know how this happened. What I know for sure if that I do not deserve this. I could live 100 of my lifetimes over and over again, and I could never earn enough credit anywhere to deserve to have this woman by my side. But it happened…we are here…together. We have a family now. It is unbelievable. I know this is not eloquent or anything amazing. That might have something to do with how hard we have been working the past few days and because Edmund has been under the weather. I had big plans of being sickeningly poetic and over the top. But right now, I am just sitting here with my eyes getting wet while I think about what she means to me. Any words I could put down here would not even being to scratch the surface. Day after day and experience after experience it just gets deeper and more real and more inseparable from the very fabric of my being.
I keep saying this, but I do not know how this happened. I do not know how I could end up with the best girl out of anyone I know. How could I have a girl this gorgeous as my wife? I don’t know. Just thinking about her strips away so much of what I thought I knew about life, and I revel in my blissful ignorance. I just know how much I love her.
I love that she went on that first date with me to the Sufjan Stevens concert
I love how she plays with our son…even when it scares her a bit
I love how she hugs trees
I love her in the most gorgeous photo of any women in history.
I love that I had the person to share those special things I was “saving” for many years…like going to a drive in for the first time.
I love that she still did this photo with me, even though I was super crabby and grumpy and it made us late for Thanksgiving dinner.
I love the sound she made at the moment she first held our son.
I love that I get to work with her and let our unique skills blend together.
I love how squinty she gets when trying to smile in bight light
I love how she cherishes our fur babies
I love that she lets me test my weird camera ideas on her outside at 11 PM with biting mosquitoes all around.
I love her in the woods behind our house.
I love her inside some space-time distortion out of Star Trek.
I love that she does not really have a moustache.
I love that she occasionally lets the boy kitty sleep on her head.
I love how much she does to help our clients.
Yeah…I just love that face.
I love that she enjoys being photographed and would fancy herself a model.
I love that she can design and create her own dresses.
I love how she strives to make things special for Edmund.
I love how brave she was when she (shockingly) decided to get a tattoo with me.
I love that she abandoned the beauty of California to be with me.
I love how she inspired to start spending money on gift for her like random 1950’s yellow coats.
I love how beautiful she looks everywhere we go.
I love that she packed up all she owned to move from Los Angeles to the Middle West in hopes that we were built to last.
I love that she is able to make a winning pick at the horse races even when I could not pick a correct horse to save my life.
I love the look she gets on her face when she squeezes him.
I love how she looks on Portra 400 220 film.
And on Polaroid.
I love the adventure we had making terrible sushi.
I love how hard she works doing the things for our business that I never could.
I love her voice when she reads him stories.
I love how much fun we had on our honeymoon.
I love that she let me set up and take this photo even though she felt terrible at the moment.
I love how she just melts me.
I love how much she gets excited about picking fruit.
I love her compassion.
I love that she said yes. (thanks, Melissa)
I (secretly) love how much she gets into Christmas
I love how she wants to give Edmund wonderful experiences even though he will never remember them.
I love that we can explore new restaurants together.
I love how good of a Han Solo impersonation she does.
I love that she is passionate about baking.
I love that we would video chat when we both were at work in different places (while I may or may not have been watching Seinfeld at the same time).
I love how perfect she is on a beach.
I love that she gets dressed up for tea.
I love her excited face.
I love how she bundles herself to keep her nose warm.
I love her mirror face.
I love that she lets me do awesomely ridiculous things like this for my own entertainment.
I love her sweetness.
I love that she lets me finish my rolls of film on her even when I pulled her away from something she was doing that was much more important.
I love that she knows when to slow down when I start running ahead to get a shot of her.
I love that I have seen so many new places with her.
I love that she was the prettiest pregnant woman. ever.
I love that she wore my Liverpool shirt on her first visit here. YNWA
I love that she shared special places from her past with me.
I love how amazing she looks in a hat and coat.
I love that she makes old fashioned Christmas cookies with her grandmother’s recipe.
I love that she recently hung this photo of us on the wall. (thanks, Melissa)
I love that she was brave enough to endure subways and hipsters with me.
I love how obsessed she is with Pinkberry.
I love the awesome underwear she wore when she was pregnant.
I love how much she cares for her family.
I love that she would have made a good tree.
I love how she looks in a 5XL t-shirt
I love that she enjoys my obsession with photobooths.
I love that she even shares her favorite ice cream in the world.
I love that she answers my phone for me…because I am terrible at answering my phone.
I love that she helped me demolish this boat of sushi.
I love how many times she let me take photos of her in Ireland.
I love that she goes along with my craziness and put up with me when I freak out at weddings about things that do not really matter.
I love that she pretended to be a knight with me.
I love it when she indulges me by laughing manically at my jokes that she is wrongly convinced are not really all that funny.
I love her on the beach at Barmouth.
I love how I can totally read her mind in this photo.
I love that she can figure out a way to have fun when we are delayed at the airport for 8 hours.
I love how she looks in the street lights.
I love how she looks in glasses.
I love her giggles from the cold stuff they put on her belly.
I love how important it was to her that we went and found a pumpkin.
I love the faces she makes during site visits when she is pretending to be a bride.
I love that smile.
I love how much she loves our son.
I love that she has made our house a home.
I love that she trusts me. I love that she believes in me. I love that she values me. I love that she wants the best for me. I love that she puts up with my craziness. I love that she forgives me. I love that wants the best for me. I love that she helps me to be the person that I was born to be.
I love that she loves me. I don’t deserve it…I never could. But, I am so glad that she does.
I love you, my Darling girl. In the deepest depths of my heart, there is you. I love that you are there, and I love that you will stay there.